First Campaign Challenge ~ Flash Fiction 200 Words, Exactly!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

First Campaign Challenge ~ Flash Fiction 200 Words, Exactly!

One Day ~ He'll Come Back for Me

Shadows crept across the wall, or rather what was left of it. I pulled my thin sweater tighter around my frail body and stared numbly at the remains of the building, lost in the memories …

“Stanley?” My lips quivered as he uncovered the loosely wrapped cloth from my eyes. I don’t know what I expected, maybe a picnic spread, but certainly, not this! My hands flew to my mouth. Stanley had built me a house and not just any house, but from the looks of it, the beginnings of one of the finest homes in the neighborhood. I turned to him in utter bewilderment. “All the hours—this is what you were doing?” I brushed at a tear. “Why?”

He grinned, that wonderful sweet grin, “… for you, Tess.”

It always was.

Stanley was my life—everything that ever mattered came from him. How many times had I been back to this old building—a hundred? It was the last place I saw him—the last place I held him tight. One day—one day, he’ll come back for me. I slumped down against the wall as a warm light enveloped me, pulling me up to him.
“Tess …”
Click here to go to the linky to vote for my short story. I'm # 146.

33 comments:

David P. KingFebruary 22, 2012 at 3:33 PM
An emotionally driven piece. Nice one! :)
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Theresa Small SneedFebruary 22, 2012 at 3:46 PM
Thanks David - I think I need to tighten it a bit - cut a few words off so I can have a stronger ending ... don't think I have time though :)
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JessFebruary 22, 2012 at 4:27 PM
Oh my gosh, so sad and happy! I guess bittersweet is the word. Great job! I wish I knew more of the story!

I'm entry #19
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UnknownFebruary 22, 2012 at 4:55 PM
Good writing, especially with the character development.
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Ann CoryFebruary 22, 2012 at 5:16 PM
Enjoyable story :) I liked the dialogue and development of your characters. Well done!
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MelissaFebruary 22, 2012 at 8:32 PM
Very nice. = ) It tugged at my heart.
I'm from the challenge, #149.
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Theresa Small SneedFebruary 23, 2012 at 6:16 AM
Thanks Melissa! I'll go read your too! :)
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Mina BurrowsFebruary 23, 2012 at 6:32 AM
Beautifully done. Would like to know more about these two. :)
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AnonymousFebruary 23, 2012 at 6:32 AM
So sad! I hope she finds him again! Well done.
My entry is #160.
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Erin Kane SpockFebruary 23, 2012 at 6:36 PM
Such a desolate, lonely piece. I'm cold from just reading - and probably should go hug my husband. :)
Great flash fiction.
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Stephanie AllenFebruary 23, 2012 at 6:43 PM
You did a great job packing all that emotion into such a short piece!
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Misha GerrickFebruary 24, 2012 at 8:20 AM
This piece is so sweet! Just wanted to drop by and say thanks for visiting my blog. :-)
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AlyssaFebruary 24, 2012 at 9:08 AM
This is sad, but beautifully written, you did a great job developing the characters! :) Nice job!

I'm #37
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Christy FarmerFebruary 24, 2012 at 4:56 PM
You did a great job with this! I'm #61.
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UnknownFebruary 24, 2012 at 10:10 PM
Aww! :( This was so sad! But very good! great job!
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Theresa Small SneedFebruary 25, 2012 at 4:23 AM
Thanks Ashley! It may seem sad, but in reality, it's one of the most beautiful moments in life - being reunited with your spouse after death.
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UnknownFebruary 26, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Goodness, I would have assumed he was having an affair or something being gone as much as it would take to build a house!
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Theresa Small SneedFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Hi Jayne ... yeah, I know, huh ... that's one of the problems with flash fiction haha! In retrospect - a small house would have made more sense, but I was just thinking about my own husband who is a master builder! (oops!)
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Melissa SugarFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:19 PM
This is beautifully written, but sad. You are an excellent storyteller. I haven't even attempted this first challenge (hubbie back in hospital) but should get to it tomorrow. I have a difficult time condensing an entire story into so few words. You really impressed me.

BTW, I tagged you over on my blog.

http://fictiontoolbox.blogspot.com/2012/02/ive-been-tagged.html
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UnknownFebruary 27, 2012 at 4:09 AM
Very emotional piece! Well done!
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Theresa Small SneedFebruary 28, 2012 at 8:05 AM
Thanks Traci!
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WIP: Sandee Jae ~by Theresa Sneed

When Ashley Jamison accidently stumbles on a way into the inner workings of the Sandee Jae Column--an on-line women's-only advice group, and in his mind--an embarrassment to the family's multi-million dollar publishing company, he assumes the identity of Ashley West, a female writer, with the intent to find proof of its ill worth, and shut it down for good. But, he didn't expect to become personally involved in the lives of its fourteen women writers--especially its lead writer--Sandee Jae, and now, how will he tell her who Ashley West really is?

What Are Sheydim?

I've had a couple readers ask me where I got the word sheydim from in my book No Angel and what sheydim are. Most people refer to them as demons and glorify them with muscle-bound bodies and supernatural powers, but the fact is, that they are simply spirits who never received a mortal body and have ZERO power unless you give it to them. I delved deep in my research to come up with the best term that I could find to define their true character and found this at torah.org - The Judaism Site: "There's actually also a *third* sort of phenomenon that's neither specifically spiritual or physical but acts as an intermediary between the two, known as "sheidim" in Hebrew. That term is usually translated as "demons", which has a decidedly sinister ring to it. "Phantoms" or "ghosts" are closer to the sense of the word; but those terms also carry certain connotations that are off the mark. Suffice it to say that "sheidim" are phenomena that can't be experienced with the five senses, so they might be thought to be spiritual; yet they interface with the material world, so they might be thought to be physical. But they're actually of a class all their own, and are neither spiritual nor physical. It's pointed out in the Talmud that sheidim are all around us all the time. They’re more numerous than we, and we'd in fact be thunderstruck and undone if we were actually able to see them (Tractate Berachos 6A). This is similar to what I found three years ago when I wrote No Angel, except the resource I use spelled sheidim with a y instead of an i.

What readers are saying ...

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best reading experiences I've had., September 27, 2011 By Luis Valenzuela, III (Mesa, AZ) - See all my reviews This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) I bought this book expecting a nice story about angels helping people and maybe experiencing a little self doubt and frustration. What I got was No Angel, the most spiritual reading experience I have had in a fantasy book ever. With a protagonist that annoyed me to no end, I really didn't think I could get to like him or that he could be developed at all. By the end of this story I was in tears of joy at what I read and tears of despair at not having a sequel immediately available. The mythos is unbelievably easy to grasp and vast in its future storytelling implications. The characters and their motivations are not immediately as transparent as they appear, and I love that about this cast of characters. I can not praise this or rate this highly enough, I have to share it. Thank you, Theresa Sneed, thank you!
5.0 out of 5 stars A SPIRITUAL FANTASY FAMILIES CAN TREASURE, September 24, 2011 By Laura Lewis "LC Lewis" (Maryland) This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) Debuting author, Theresa Sneed, chose an ambitious project for her first novel, a spiritual fantasy titled No Angel, and I'm pleased to report that it delights on many levels. Sneed's No Angel opens in a heavenly realm, moves into mortality where good and evil spirits impact humans, and then she thrusts her readers into a frightening underworld where even good spirits can become trapped through error. Each world is filled with complex characters and governed by strict rules--rules Sneed's main character, a reluctant Guardian Angel named Jonathan Stewart, hasn't bothered reading. Jonathan was sorely disappointed by his own mortality and in an effort to make this second earth experience, (required by all post-mortal spirits), quick and painless, Jonathan selects an EMD client, Early Marked for Death, knowing his client will die young, allowing him to complete his assignment early and quickly exit earth once and for all. What Jonathan failed to learn from that unread handbook is that special conditions surround the exceptional spirits assigned to be EMDs--their goodness makes them prized targets of the dark spirits. Jonathan's poor attitude is a disappointment to the more dedicated Guardians, but more importantly, it also places him in the cross-hairs of dark spirits who pose a threat to his successful completion of his mission, and to Faith, the child, he has been sent to guard. But Jonathan has two allies, a loyal Guardian Angel named Grace, who takes a special interest in him, and Celeste Knight, the premortal spirit of Faith. Their interest in Jonathan is not accidental. Sneed does a wonderful job of fleshing out heaven and the underworld with rich, vivid description that drives the theme of good versus evil deep into the reader. Still, the book is not dark and eerie. Sneed successfully slingshots between humor and drama during Jonathan's bumpy, spiritual evolution, providing a change of pace that makes this book suitable for YA as well as adults, while also endearing this disgruntled soul to the reader. Without those humorous passages, No Angel would have been a dark, eerie tale. And though that was not Sneed's purpose in writing this book, she proves she has the talent to go that direction if she ever chooses. The explanations of the rules of each world slow the read in places, but they are essential to the ensuing tension, and there is plenty of tension, which intensifies until the conclusion, which leaves the reader unsure about the outcome of many of the characters until the very end. No Angel is fiction, but its powerful themes of good versus evil, spiritual promptings, choice and accountability, family, friendship, and loyalty, make it a valuable springboard for family discussions on these topics, and therefore makes this book one to be read together as a family, and worth having in a family library. This is a first-rate read that quickly earned Theresa Sneed a Whitney Award nomination. Sneed is a talented writer who should find No Angel a contender for Whitney's "Best Novel by a New Author" award. She is already completing a second project, proving that great things are ahead for her, and those who pick up her imaginative, tender books.
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome, unique, and thoroughly enjoyable, September 13, 2011 By Shawnette M. Nielson (AZ) This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) What a fun story. I have never read a book that intertwined the spirit world and our world so descriptively. Unique images and lessons learned from reading 'No Angel' will stick with you forever. As entertaining and delightful a book this was, I would say even beyond that, it is a book that can change lives...or at least improve them a bit. Funny to say, but I believe I am stronger against temptation because of reading this book. Jonathan, the hero, is a riot of fun. I love watching him grow and learn through life lessons the value of love, friendship, and loyalty. It is a truly beautiful story. Thank you Theresa Sneed!
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome way to spend my evenings!, September 22, 2011 By small2011 This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) I absolutely loved this book! Theresa Sneed is amazing. When I say "amazing", I mean she has a writing style that keeps you intrigued and amazed at the same time. I highly recommend this book to anyone that loves Angels, and stories about the struggles and triumphs that we face in today's world. I look forward to reading anything else she writes.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great New Story, September 22, 2011 By MARY E WALKER This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) No Angel by Theresa Sneed is a fun fast read. I had a hard time putting it down. Jonathan Stewart is assigned to be a guardian angel for a baby girl, marked for early death. He reluctantly accepts the assignment, thinking it will be short term. Jonathan is surly, arrogant and certainly reluctant to learn from the other guardian angels also assigned to the family. As time goes on and Jonathan's back story starts to be revealed, I started having warm fuzzy feelings towards him. A trip to the underworld, and being separated from the child he is guardian for, teaches him a lot about trusting in God, praying, love and duty. I liked the idea that we all have guardian angels assigned to us throughout our lives, to help and encourage us. I would recommend this book to everyone, LDS and Non LDS alike.
5.0 out of 5 stars 'No Angel' Intriguing Read, September 15, 2011 By Valerie J. Steimle (Loxley, Alabama) This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) Reviewing books from writer friends is a special privilege. Reviewing fictional stories that catch my attention is even better. Theresa Sneed's debut novel "No Angel" is a special story about a guardian angel who didn't want to be a guardian angel. Jonathan Stewart had issues. He was assigned to watch over a special girl on earth but he was counting the days when he would be released from his "calling". From the affects of his mysterious past, Jonathan was grumpy and all business. With a great imagination and some experience with the spirit realm, Theresa Sneed writes an intriguing story which takes many twists and turns. An unexpected adventure into the underworld captivates the reader until the very satisfying end. As I read this story, it reminded me of my deceased husband so this story has a special meaning for me. Many others apparently have felt the same way as readers are saying it has given them comfort to read about what may happen in the Spirit World. It's a great read and I'd recommend it to anyone.
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Guardian Angel Story, September 7, 2011 By lkm8 This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) Theresa hooked me on the first page and didn't let go until the satisfying end. Her treatment of guardian angels and life before, during, and after mortality was creative and original. This is a book that belongs in everyone's home library. Well done.
5.0 out of 5 stars No Angel by Theresa Sneed, September 13, 2011 By Betsy Love "Betsy Love LDS Author" (Gilbert, AZ USA) This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) Jonathan is an post mortal spirit whose time spent on earth was a huge disappointment, and he wants never to return to earth again. He is quite happy in his work assignment in H&EB (Heaven and Earth Bound-kind of like an airport terminal director showing people which line to get into going to earth and returning). Each post mortal spirit must fulfill one guardianship, so he applies for the position for a spirit who is marked for early death. That way he can come back quickly. Since he knows that his client will not spend very long on earth, Jonathan doesn't read the handbook. And not knowing is a very bad thing! This delightfully humorous book takes you through so many human emotions as you experience Jonathan's antics, discoveries, and turning his heart over to God. Theresa Sneed does a fabulous job of teaching eternal truths without being preachy. I came away with greater faith and knowledge of my Heavenly Father and his great plan of happiness. I highly recommend this book!
5.0 out of 5 stars No Angel by Theresa Sneed, September 8, 2011 By tmsneed This review is from: No Angel (Paperback) I LOVE this book! This is a wonderful story about a spirit named Jonathan who didn't have a good experience as a mortal on earth and certainly does not want to return as a guardian angel - but he has to, because it's required of all post-mortal spirits to complete at least one angel guardianship. This book delves deeply into what a guardian angel might be like and how often we can and do receive needed help and encouragement from beyond the veil. This story is also about the very real negative force in that unseen world that surrounds us too - although I call them sheydim, they are also known as demons--not to be feared, nor respected, but understood as the bodiless spirits bent on destruction that they are. You can learn more about me and the prequel and sequel to No Angel on my author blog at http://theresasmallsneed.blogspot.com